THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF IS IN BED WITH THE WHORE OF BABYLON

thesefuckersthinkthisisnewbehavior?    

cr: SGG Labs

My cartography of hell—inspired by Dante's—is similarly composed of concentric rings of the damned, reserving the innermost ring for the lowliest of sinners.  Here I assign am-bulance chasers, insurance salespersons, corrupt politicians, pedophiles, people who sell drugs to children, people who sell fake drugs to adults, and what I've come to call Armageddonite doomsayer flockstars.  After the 8.9 quake hit Japan, the post-disaster flurry of insipid journalists and pundits assembled in a misanthropic chorus of apocalyptic predictions. "More to Come..."  "The Big One is Next," "The End Times are Near!" screamed the tabloids.  Scientists assured us that the Superquake was imminent, even overdue, like a 10-month fetus. Concerned citizens ran to Wal-Mart to stock up on emergency water, batteries, and enough turkey jerky to feed Sudan for a week.  High Five, Turkey farmers!

The practice of fearmongering to make political gains is an age-old practice, and upon researching the world's religions and histories, you will find an Armageddon/Apocalypse arche-type in every one.  The powers that be—they just love a good ol' End Times hoedown to get your attention--and then your consent.  More laws, more regulations, more prohibitions, more safety measures...less freedoms.  Earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, volcanos...these have existed long before recorded history, long before the puny human race came along. What's new are nuclear weapons, bio-engineered viruses, magnesium incendiary devices—and the most nefarious of weapons: the media.  Man has been boondoggled into inventing novel, [shock &] awe-inspiring ways to kill other men by—other men.  The enemy is in your neighborhood: sleeper cells of bloodthirsty jihadists waiting for the muezzin's call. This is what the media and the Administration screamed after 9-11. The truth is that the brown-skinned people in this country are merely immigrants like your family was not too long ago, and duped like the rest of us, living out the fallacy of the American Dream. 

I don’t lend the Armageddonites much credence.  I'd just as soon as hire a Catholic priest for babysitting.  It doesn’t take much for these idiots to proclaim the End Times are near; hell, they’re banking on it.  They're driving this ship into the ground with no care or concern for the generations to come because God is going to turn Earth into a smoldering rock. Oh Goody, Jesus is here!  All humanity’s problems vanquished with an earth-cleansing, annihilating world war and the believers float to heaven in the Rapture, exorcising man’s evils.  What a crock of shit fabricated to sell Bibles and an agenda to keep its little lambs from discovering themselves.  And their wallets and bank accounts overfloweth with blood money.

The Beast

cr. SCNDRCLCK

Here’s the clincher....  it’s not just the Christian Conserva-tives, not just the Republican Right Fearfuckers, even the liberal media grasp onto the Armageddon zeitgeist because it sells copy.  And it sells chocolate at Whole Foods.  Think this is SCNDRCLCK hyperbolic?  Check the collage below.  It is composed of guerrilla snapshots I took of just one impulse-buy endcap at Whole Foods, including the "last-second to spend a buck” bucket strategically positioned next to the checkstand/credit card swiper.

The Sky Is Falling

cr: SCNDRCLCK

Well, dear readers, from what I can gather from my forays into the joy of surrogate parenting [SCNDRCLCK is not a breeder], the kids are waking up and discovering their world has been hijacked by a kleptocracy of fossilized good 'ol boys.  Chalk it up to better education, the Internet, or just simple evolution, but this generation is smarter and brighter.  And there not buying the aforementioned crock.  They're not going to believe the primitive, xenophobic reasons for war, or the capitalistic ventures behind them.  They're going to invest in peace, transmogrifing arms and military budgets into global health care and education.  They’re not going to buy into the Malthusian scarcity rap or the Bilderberg Group's doctrine to reduce the world's population by 80%.  They’re going to be the vanguard of new and green technologies.  They’re going to see the crises we face as exciting challenges and opportunity for growth/evolution.

cr: Bizarro Comic

Well don’t go buy turkey jerky, unless, of course, you want to succumb to nitrate poisoning in your bomb shelter.  Plus you must drink one gallon of water for every ounce of dessicated fowl meat, so there goes your water supply and your gray water tank filled, unless you were planning on, um, recycling.... Don’t send your money to Japan, well I shouldn’t write that—it’s so callous—but I think you’d do the world better by investing that money in yourself.  I’m no new age hippy but the thought of every guilt-ridden donator paying themselves to take the time off to meditate rather than rushing to their credit card seems more effective than grieving over corpses buried in the rubble and buying some CEO of UNICEF a new Lexus.  If that’s too abstract or metaphysical, they could donate their time/energy to a local organization that relieves suffering 24/7 rather than capitalist disaster-as-commodity foundations and actually do good. Or take that hard earned cash and invest in your children.  They are the future. Someone has to take the place of the corrupt Old Guard as they bury the last tyrant.  Let the kids burn the archaic paperwork, the labyrinthine and byzantine codes of law that have clotted our courtrooms and strangled our freedoms, prevented us from pursuing our collective happiness:  i.e., finding a cure for AIDS, cancer and stupidity; abolishing torture, prisons and ignorance; ending famine; implementing basic human rights for all peoples regardless of race, color, sexual orientation; free ice cream for all the children, etc...  Let the future poets and songwriters compose a new constitution that self-destructs every two years.  This generation and the ones that follow will be the ones to abolish the antiquated geo-political, socio-spiritual concepts and ideologies that have kept us from creating a more harmonious world, one better equipped to deal with earthquakes, or at least put HAARP back into place.  In the meantime, invent a new meme every week to do your bit in enriching the collective consciousness. To inspire you, here’s some music themed to rock the Apocalypse into oblivion....

Fifty years ago, January 17, 1961, President Dwight D.Eisenhower, a decorated wartime general, as he was leaving office, he gave a speech warning the citizenry of the Military Industrial Complex, how if its powers were not kept in check, it could destroy the very freedoms America had fought so hard for.  Did we listen?  Kennedy attempted to dismantle this power and he was assassinated and the crime covered up.  Cui bono?  Who benefitted?  Who has the power to cover it up? Thriftworks utilizes Eisenhower's speech in  Eisenblaster, from their brilliant new album, Zenzero:

Thriftworks: Eisenblaster
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You can watch an excerpt of Eisenhower's speech here:

I usually prefer vegan beats but sometimes a little cheese goes a long way for the jaded heart.  This mash-up still kills me, and I enjoy the positive vibes. [SCNDRCLCK, even though he is a bitch, has a heart...]


MATSIYAHU vs LENNON vs BLINK182 vs GENTLEMAN one day (so far away)
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With the risk of appearing too hippy, and this may have been influenced by my move to San Francisco, the city of love, I will go out on the limb of trite and profess that a little more love in the world, less apathy, more care, compassion might do the world more good, plus it's way easier to curate songs with this theme.
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And if you're getting your love on, you know, calling your mom, petting a cat, smiling at a baby, well might as well bump uglies with your lover because we all know that SEX RELIEVES TENSION.  I had this vision once while having sex, and here it is, the wisdom of SCNDRCLCK, if more men had anal sex and I mean on the receiving end, there might be less patriarchal, over-aggressive men in foreign policy shoving their missiles up brown-skinned nations asses.  So this number is dedicated to all the homophobic arms dealers and constipated war-declarers:
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The greatest tool we have for communication is the Internet.  The free and unimpeded access to all the information is a prerequisite for the evolution of humanity.  A grassroots revolution will happen here.
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I'm elated to share this track with you, as it's unreleased, forthcoming from the eponymous album, "Thumbprint," featuring Abstract Rude, a melange of organic instrumentation [dumbek, tar, mouthharp] and warm, rich analog gurgles, bleeps, flutters and fuzz.  
THUMBPRINT thumbprint [ft ABSTRACT RUDE]